Cabin fever, rehab, and re-igniting the flame

Dear Readers: I am not dead. I am, however, suffering the varying effects of cabin fever. If you have never experienced the phenomenon, consider the PSA commercial about the effects of Meth use which aired a few years ago. I’ve included it here for your viewing displeasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY1Pl1zGowc&feature=related

Ok – perhaps that was a severe comparison. But I was going stir-crazy. Valentine’s Day (my least favorite faux-liday) was around the corner and I was about to be trapped inside for days at a time?! I was beginning to feel like a tigress being shipped off to the trapper in a too-small cage. GRRRRR

I was feeling the winter-blahs and I was feeling them big time. The spirit of the Holidays and the polish of the New Year had worn to a dull, serrated daily routine. No love interest (since being shot down prior to NYE) other than those sugar-free chocolate candies (previously hidden in the back of my freezer to prevent binging and ones which I had just rediscovered, to my own detriment), Bravo’s “Millionaire Matchmaker”, and sweatpants. THIS.IS.BLEAK.

After sweeping up the last of the holiday tinsel, the local retailers made no effort to display anything that wasn’t pink or red or covered in smiling hearts and overweight baby angels with bow and arrows. I LOATHE Valentine’s Day. I always have. I think because I am a woman dedicated to managing the reality of the situation and hype is my nemesis. Valentine’s Day is festering with hoopla. I would like a partner to be appreciative 365 days a year, not mask his inadequacies for showing affection by buying the last box of chocolates and a fabric rose at Walgreens before he knocks at my door one day in February. One Valentine’s Day, I received an espresso maker from my then-current boyfriend. Practical and necessary. Perfect.

What is love? I mean, really, what is LOVE? Had I been confusing lust with love for the last 12 years?! (Trust me, I know that stint with Bret Michaels was anything but love, but every rose has its thorn…) I had been in love and I had been out of love. And now, it seemed that everywhere I turn people are in love (engagement announcements, wedding invitations, and “Look’s Whose Pregnant” cards are FLOODING into my apartment). I never felt the “itch” before. You know - the one that females (and some males!) get to settle down and nest. I’m not sure if this is THAT itch, but I definitely had Kat-scratch-fever.

The first week of February brought a surprising e-mail. A flight itinerary sent by the very one who I had begged and pleaded for. The next few days were a blissful blur. I was back in the saddle again and more in love than ever. Maybe I needed the time we spent apart (though I would have contested it at the time), maybe it took the absence to realize that what we had and now, what we have, is better than I could have planned. Maybe, just maybe, it had been there all along.

I’m waving “Au Revoir” to my dating dilemmas and “Bonjour” to my newfound, rekindled, LOVE. Are these days of blogging about relationship snafus over? Oh NO my friends -something tells me there will always be something notable about the differences between males and females…

So this one goes out to lovers, lost and found (or re-found)…

XoXoXo

Smitten Kitten