In time for Prom season, a twist on the "Promise" pledge...

The Lobbyist Firm promise is a tradition. In essence, it's a promise made to your family, your workplace and undeserving undergraduate interns. Wherein you commit not to drink and drive and not to engage in sexual relations with another underpaid Washingtonians, scrambling for the top.

Here is the promise:
I, _______________________
Hereby promise to behave responsibly before, during and after Lobbyist Firm.
Date: ____________________

I commit to an alcohol, drug and sex free Lobbyist Firm because I care about my fellow colleagues, my community, and myself.
Signed by: _______________________

Minion: _______________________
Boss: _______________________
Witnessing Intern: _______________________

I WANT TO LIVE.

I want to lobby, listen to boasting bigshots, and canvass Capitol Hill while someone maintains his/her purity.

I want to have an absolutely great time at Lobbyist Firm. Every day after, I will relive it, hour by hour, loathingly, with my friends.

I want to remember it. All of it.

I will not have sex at the Lobbyist Firm.
I will not use alcohol at the Lobbyist Firm.
I will not drive PERIOD to or from the Lobbyist Firm. (I will take the Metro and hope it doesn't break down.)